I am learning the story of Shams and Rumi. Two 13th Century lovers who committed the sweet blasphemy of loving each other at a time when a man loving another man was unthinkable, unknowable. Shams has something to give to Rumi, his knowledge with someone like Rumi who can understand and appreciate it. He is not looking for a disciple or follower, make no mistake.
He is looking for a companion.
I don’t know why but I am recording myself reading this book aloud. Every chapter is a new audio file and I sometimes listen to myself while I work during the day. But really, I am hoping for someone to listen to my voice while I read the book. I was hoping to create a podcast out of it except there is a problem. I get so fluttery at the thought of being heard by others that I start rushing through the words.
I feel like, of late, I have been rushing through life as well.
It is a horrible feeling. I am seeing everything but I am not really seeing anything. My mind is switched off. I am on auto-pilot. A rush in time makes me like this. I don’t work so well when being rushed.
I hate it. That word. Rush.
Sugar rush don’t last. The haste. Hurry. The greed. To attack and attain. I hate it. It makes me dizzy. It makes me less me and more of something or someone else. I am not in control. The one rushing me is also not in control unless all they want is to destroy me. Because rushing someone is destroying them. Sometimes it is a matter of restoring focus so things move faster. But rushing someone does not always improve focus. In fact, it can destroy whatever focus remains.
When I rush through Rumi his words seem no different than legal jargon.
Similarly, rushing through life makes it no different than living like a vegetable. Plucked and dead. I know how paralysed I get when I rush myself but still cannot help but do it. Again and again. Or, I let others rush me. Again and again. Why?
I don’t know why.
The etymology of the word Rush goes back to Ruse – a trick and not just any trick but The Oldest Trick In The Book. I know, if it is so old then it should no longer work. But that’s just it. It works because it is primitive. It can be stopped only with something non-primitive, an evolved thought. To see through a trickery you need to see beyond what is visible. You cannot afford laziness of thought with these tricks.
Every now and then, I tend to get lazy.
And that’s where the problem lies. I tend to get lazy every now and then. I think I can afford to get lazy every now and then. My privileges allow me to have a window of laziness which can longer than most. I know that it is lethal, this laziness. Laziness is foolishness and can kill at times, especially when faced with a lethal Ruse.
Here’s my favourite rendition of the Instagram trend choreography on Don’t Rush remix.
Well, I will leave you with this video!
This is the Stoned Storyteller signing in (not off) considering I am posting here after months and months. But I guess my life was not rich enough to extract anything of value for this blog.
Let’s see when I return next!
The Stoned Storyteller 